Learn, Share, Grow – 4 Emotional Needs

learn share grow

Below is a lesson from davidji’s “destressifying” book, chapter 6, “destressifying by Mastering Your Needs” on the 4 emotional needs we all have, as well as our key learning.

The Blue Courage team is dedicated to continual learning and growth.  We have adopted a concept from Simon Sinek’s Start With Why team called “Learn, Share, Grow”.  We are constantly finding great articles, videos, and readings that have so much learning.  As we learn new and great things, this new knowledge should be shared for everyone to then grow from.



Welcome to “destressifying”


To purchase the book, click here.


As beings, we all have survival needs – both physically and emotionally. In the 1940’s, Abraham Maslow described the hierarchy of needs. As humans we are driven to meet our needs, striving to ultimately get to what Maslow described as “self-actualization.” The more we can understand our needs, become aware and cultivating when they are not met, the more fulfilled our lives can be; The closer we get to personal growth and self-fulfillment.

These needs can be grouped into four areas, called Social Needs:

  • The 4 Emotional Needs
  • The 4 A’s
  • The Four Needs of The Heart
  • Emotional Air
    • Just as we need air to survive physically, we have these needs to survive emotionally. It doesn’t matter if you are an infant or 90 years old – it doesn’t matter how smart you are, how rich you are, how wise you are – we all have these needs.

And . . . they are all equally important

The very first of human need is Attention – to be seen, to be heard, to know you have a place in this universe – that you are acknowledged. The most painful of human emotions is to be invisible. To be invisible is to be irrelevant. It means you do not matter. Every one of us has a deep need to matter — a deep need to be significant

Affection does not necessarily equate to physical touch. While physical touch can be powerful (hand on shoulder, holding a hand, a hug), affection at its most basic core is not as much about physical touch, but rather, do you care about me?
We all want and need a sense of feeling safe – secure – cared about. If we are truly Guardians – our role is to make people feel SAFE – to CARE!

Appreciation gives us the feeling that as human beings we are recognized and have contributed something and that the contribution we make had meaning and is valued. In other words, our work or contribution is validated.

Acceptance is the need to fit in, to belong, and to be included. Exclusion is among the most powerful of emotions. In nature, to be excluded from the pack is to be unsafe and to feel vulnerable.

When we can understand the power of these emotional needs both for ourselves and others, it takes us all to another level of performance, creativity, relationships, teamwork, trust, and living in abundance.

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